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Is that a deplorably manipulative state of affairs?

For sure, people who associate intimacy with commitment are ill-suited to sex that's as meaningful as a summer breeze; for them, the FWB arrangement would be a bad idea.

Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).

They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.

”1) Looking for “a partner in crime”2) Has visited a developing country and has the bracelet to prove it3) Signs Square receipts on an i Pad with a smiley face instead of letters4) Assumes “Jeezy” is a nickname for Kanye West5) Wore fashion-y sweatpants “for a joke” for two hours6) Signs you up for his label’s/zine’s/DIY venue’s/booking company’s weekly e-blasts without asking7) Increasingly strokes his beard with each drink after he’s on his third8) Asks about your tattoos, but shows you his before you can answer. I’ve thought about being a comedian.”34) Talks about getting a cat for a full calendar year before making concrete plans to get one—in three months35) One of his first three substantial crushes was on Winnie Cooper36) Plays live music for yoga classes led by women he never hooked up with, he promises37) Posts Instagram stories of himself cooking Blue Apron meals38) Wants to cook you vegan tacos39) Sports any variation of faux or real animal pelts on his king-sized bed40) Calls himself old-school in his views re: making/receiving phone calls, cuffing jeans, literally anything41) Will indulge a request for a freestyle.

His are related to , or John Cage by the way.9) Amazon Primes his rolling papers10) Two hours after the last set, DMs to say he saw you at the show11) Watches two of your Instagram stories before responding to a text12) Instead of a driving courtesy wave, opts for the peace sign13) Stores a spare Soda Stream bottle in his truck14) Prefers Waze to Google Maps15) Is happy to explain any David Foster Wallace book to you, if you have the time16) Has to occasionally visit the desert/mountains/ocean to “recharge”17) Opens Gchat conversations with Jay Z lyrics, sans context18) Wants to take you to New Orleans19) Studied in London for a semester a decade ago but still slips, every so often referencing his “flat”20) Adorns his bedroom walls with green paint, a portrait of Princess Di in her red power suit, and nothing else21) Sends Snapchats of the children he teaches piano practicing C Major22) Doesn’t want to be “That Guy”23) Keeps an auspicious fortune cookie fortune in a visible place in his wallet24) Carries extra maté in his messenger bag; do you want some? Now you just owe him next time ))29) Uses Pinterest only via the app and exclusively in public30) Has Catholic guilt, which is why he can’t do a third date and feels compelled to tell you all about why via text immediately after the second31) Lives in a studio with three or more houseplants seemingly solely as a backdrop for Instagramming rare vinyl32) Spins a monthly ~all-vinyl~ DJ residency at a hotel bar. It will last at minimum 90 seconds42) Double spaces between sentences43) Goes to the movies alone, but makes sure everyone knows44) Says “y’all” yet has never lived in the South45) Currently or has ever played bass46) Requests a specific hot sauce by brand—oh, y’all don’t carry that?

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