Definition of a serious dating relationship
Our guest author today, Kim, is going to talk about something completely different—how to make the decision to end things in your long distance relationship because it’s become too hard, too unhealthy, just too… Other times, the distance is less of a problem than the relationship itself.In these cases, long distance is just compounding serious challenges that would have been present in the relationship anyway.Without further ado, here is Kim to share about her long distance relationship, why she chose to end it, and seven signs that should make you consider ending your own relationship if you see them in your own LDR.I live in London, but I met John (not his real name) online last year after being separated from my husband for 9 months.So in 2030, I think we’ll be somewhere very different, and I think today’s nine-year-olds will have really incredible ways of finding love when they’re 25.Most of the articles on this site talk about how to make your LDR work, even when it’s hard.Effective dating definitely needs to take place in person, the same way your grandfather did it, but I see no good reason why happens—and for the most important mission in most of our lives, it makes no sense to crush your ability to meet great people to try a first date with because it’s not as good a story to have met them online.I have a friend that goes on two or three first dates every week with people he already knows are potentially good personality and physical matches for him—how you find the right person, and good luck keeping up with him meeting people the old-fashioned way.
Initially I just put these sorts of comments down to the difference in our cultures, us never having met, etc.
I sensed a real chemistry between us, and thought the relationship had enough potential to give it a chance, even though we lived in different countries.
Within eight weeks, however, I was second guessing whether we really a good fit. During those first weeks, John would make remarks which I found odd.
He later said that he’d noticed I was watching a male waiter walk around the restaurant. The fact that John was acting jealous and insecure seems obvious now as I write this down, but it was less obvious then. Over time, though, these red flags became empty promises. He backed off for a couple of days, but within a week or two we were right back to the same old patterns. I tried conveying every way possible of my feelings for him—which were still strong.
Then a male colleague (and friend) texted me one evening during that visit holidays. I work in the male-dominated field of law enforcement, and I had learned some lessons the hard way during the marriage that had just ended. I tried talking about our cultural differences in this area, and how I had had male friends and male colleagues my entire life.