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We have helped countless women do so; ones who were told it was impossible by others.It is not easy to hear that your husband would not have strayed if your marriage was better.He was able to say that her first few points were so important that he needed time to consider and respond to them so that he could better appreciate her other important points.She was visibly moved and felt affirmed (instead of disrespected), was receptive to his request for time to process her initial points, and was able to listen.Upcoming blogs will discuss action strategies to help those interested in dating their ex-spouse, and others generally caught in negative relationship patterns with a significant other, navigate the difficult passage. But, I was thrilled by the ultimatum given to the company by the hackers, because offering escapades to a married person having marriage trouble is like offering booze to an alcoholic. But I do not want you to think it will pass, and everything will automatically be okay.If you do not change the underlying dynamics of your marriage, which you can accomplish without his involvement, this, and other problems, will keep cropping up again, and again.

Dating an ex-spouse should not be simply a response to loneliness, matter of convenience and/or lack of alternatives.

A hopeful story is about a couple who had a long standing fight when they were married; the woman would tell rather long, involved stories as she presented her "anxious case" about a relational problem.

The man would feel tense, because it was hard to keep track after hearing the first few points (especially when "under the gun") and would invariably interrupt, leading her to accuse him of being disrespectful, never letting her finish.

Do nothing positive and proactive and your marriage will keep getting worse; guaranteed.

But if you take positive action you will not only save your marriage, but you will be able to have a great marriage; I promise you that, too. Either Lessons For A Happy Marriage, or Breaking The Cycle, which is more technical, and could be called a marriage manual; are great options. is in book stores all over the country, and is promoted by couples counselors (even though I recommend against couples counseling), so it sells better. If your marriage is in serious trouble, like if this is not the first time, you need to go all the way to our online courses.

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    This publication is a joint project of the California Board of Psychology, the California Board of Behavioral Sciences and the Department of Consumer Affairs' Office of Publications, Design & Editing.