Dating weird people
usually describe my religion as “Jewish, heavy on the –ish.” (Read: I will not go to services or fast on Yom Kippur, but I will swing by your breaking-the-fast party and bring some schmear.)But during a dating dry spell that’s longer (and dryer) than Moses’s 40 days of wandering in the desert, I agreed when asked me to check out some popular religious dating apps and sites.
So I spent a month on JSwipe, dharma Match, Atheist Passions and Christian Mingle.
I wrongly assumed that without the judgment of God, we would be allowed to be a little more risqué with our cleavage.
I made my opening line “On your latkes: sour cream or applesauce?
” (Note to suitors: applesauce is the correct answer; sour cream is gross.)I was also intrigued by Adam, who told me he was a singer and sent along a link to his new album. Things must have gotten a little TOO sexy in the past, because Atheist Passions had a lot of rules about photos.
Christian Mingle had to approve my bio and photos before they went public. I thought choosing “Charismatic” would show how charming and fun I was, but Google informed me that it is in fact a kind of Christianity that “emphasizes the work of the Holy Spirit, spiritual gifts and modern-day miracles as an everyday part of a believer’s life.” Whoops.
The app chose my headline for me, which strangely announced that I was a “Single—never been married Woman.” That’s not how I usually introduce myself, but I guess my previous marital status was important to eligible Christians. At first I kept getting matched with men in their early 20s and was becoming frustrated by a lack of facial hair or bachelor’s degree.