Dating someone long distance
Don’t bare all too soon (literally or figuratively)!
When you meet long distance it can be easy to jump in the deep end and move too fast in your new relationship.
During the early days (the first couple of months, at least) don’t rush into vulnerability, set a pattern of talking for hours every day, or make serious commitments.
There are all sorts of things you can only learn about someone face to face, but the initial reason why it’s a good idea to meet in person ASAP is simple: You may have great chemistry on paper or over the phone, and absolutely none in person. Discuss some of your communication basics as a couple–how you generally prefer to connect (phone, Vo IP, text), what times, and for how long.
I, like most women, think we have guys figured out but are so wrong most of the time.If 99.9% of the men you’ve ever met are ones that you don’t want to marry, what are the odds that the guy who spends hours on the phone with you in another country IS the guy? That doesn’t mean he’s NOT the one, and it doesn’t mean you should suddenly stop returning his calls. Listen, nobody stresses establishing trust over the phone more than I do. Do you trust him enough to be secure when you haven’t heard from him in a bit? Throw them all together and, well, the odds are always very slim.I just think it’s important to not get too excited about ANYBODY before you’ve, say, met in person. Except I’m usually talking about two phone conversations in a week before you meet. All of these questions can reveal a man’s emotional investment in you. Sometimes a man’s willingness to throw himself into a long-distance relationship means that he doesn’t have much of a life worth preserving at home. But the couples who make it despite those slim odds are bound to be the strongest. My opinion: if there is an option between dating someone in close proximity versus someone long distance, always, always go with the person in close proximity. Isn’t the reason we date to get to know someone better, perhaps to explore a long term relationship? How can you really get to know someone better and have companionship at a great distance.The biggest benefit of being in a LDR is that it forces you to communicate.You may never again in the course of your relationship have this much focused time and energy to spend communicating with your partner. If you get to know them deeply and well, that will pay off big-time in the long run.