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We'd begun dating sophomore year of college, after a summer of exchanging letters stuffed with dried rose petals.

He was my first long-term boyfriend, the first guy I slept with, and we lived together after college in pseudo-married bliss, refinishing furniture and inventing names for our future children. So I left, blithely unconcerned about my romantic future.

"If I hadn't been in two long-term relationships, I would be married by now," she says.

"Sometimes I worry that I won't find The One." The newly single face challenges in the bedroom, too. But soon Jason grew cagey about the length of his last relationship. For every one of us out there, there's a boy, newly single and guileless, just waiting to sweep us off our feet.

Clueless to the secret signals of the dating world, Seals had been blinking "green" all night: She latched on to the man early and engaged in intimate chitchat, ignoring everyone else. "The more you do it, the better you get." Finkel suggests women ask friends for help—yet that can bring pitfalls, too.

Naturally friendly, she laughed, joked, and smiled freely. While Moster's friends love hearing about her dating pursuits, "They get frustrated when I cry about the same problem again and again," she says.

Other women move in with college boyfriends thinking ring, like I did, only to be disappointed.

WHEN SHE WAS 29, Aviva broke up with the man she thought was The One.D., associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University."But you have to calibrate the pace with the person." And for women leaving early marriages, interacting with a new guy can be hard, too.It was Saturday night, and my dinner-party guests had all gone home—except one.To my excitement, the cute grad student from my journalism program was lingering. "You're getting too attached." Then he bopped me on the nose like I was a child—or a small dog.

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